… but an amusing April fool story on the Guardian website claims Labour’s new election strategy will exploit Gordon Brown’s reputation for explosive anger and fisticuffs all the way up to the televised leaders debates. The story goes:

“One tactic being discussed involves provoking a physical confrontation at one of the three ground-breaking TV debates between the candidates. In this scenario, Brown, instead of responding to a point made by Cameron, would walk over from his microphone with an exaggerated silent display of self-control, bring his face to within an inch of the Tory leader’s, and in a subdued voice, ask “what did you just say?”, before delivering a single well-aimed blow to his opponent’s face, followed by a headlock if required.

The bloodied and bruised Cameron could then be whisked to a nearby hospital, where a previously briefed team of doctors and nurses would demonstrate the efficiency and compassion of the NHS under a Labour government.”

Full story here. Amusing graphics here. I can’t work out how to embed the pics of GB as Terminator/ God Father/ Reservoir Dog etc into this page so here is the infamous spaghetti tree unleashed in black and white to Anuties Beeb’s audience long before the advent of multichannel telly (a clip can be witnessed here):

The mysterious Guardian writer Olaf Priol has form by the way. In 2006 his (?) April 1st story about Coldplay’s Chris Martin and David Cameron being bessie mates had the Labour party’s media monitoring unit fooled!