When the number of first time buyers in the capital is at a record low, student princess Beatrice is reportedly eyeing up a central London townhouse with a price-tag of a cool £4.25 mill to be her base when she starts a History course at Goldsmiths College in the Autumn. Former residents of the smart stucco-clad square include David Blunkett and Enoch Powell. It is calculated that her mortgage payments will be £21,000 if he puts a million quid down (amount she got out of the Queen Mother’s trust fund at 18). At 2,390 square feet it’d probably have to be a pretty big cat (to swing).

Blur went to Goldsmiths and were holed up in a squat south of the river. Despite his anti-Blair tendencies Damon is apparently now back in the Labour fold - or at least backing Ken, who guested on Blur track Ernold Sane earlier in pop-time. Other alumnae include the last pre-1997 Labour Home Secretary Merlyn Rees and artist Damien Hirst.

I’m sure Beatrice’s student surroundings will be a better bet than the damp-ridden rodent-infested hovels controlled by Rachmanite landlords that the rest of us had to make do with but hasn’t anyone told her that Goldsmiths is in New Cross not Belgravia?